23 August 2010

Running Hard... and Running Home

I can't express what a difficult week this last one was.  My body ached with tiredness upon waking this morning and I was just so grateful that Derek took the girls downstairs and left me to sleep just a little longer. 

The girls are starting to make the transition to one nap.  Both of their naptimes are getting shorter and more disorganized. I'm lucky if they sleep 1.5 hours a day.  I love my babies, but that leaves me very little time to do the necessary.  However, they've had runny noses and I just can't bear to mix up their scheduling when they don't feel well so I'm trying to get by.

Thursday night my dear friend Jenn stopped by for a brief visit and we were struck with Round 1 of the mystery 'burping flu'.  Bronwyn felt feverish, even though the thermometer said she was fine, and she just screamed and screamed.  We rocked her.  We bounced her.  She burped some.  She fell asleep in my arms a few times out of shear exhaustion only to wake and scream again.  This happened from 8:30-10, at 11, at 3, and then she woke for the day starving hungry at 6:40.

The next night I crawl into bed exhausted at 8:00 with an Aeralind who is exhibiting all the same 'burping flu' symptoms.  We fought with her until about 9:15 and then she fell asleep.  She woke again at 11.  My arms were heavy with sleep.  My head was thick with fog.  And that sweet baby screamed from 11-12:30 when the last of the mess left her.  I've never been so physically and emotionally tired in my life.

I prayed the whole time "Please God, help her.  Please let her relax.  Please give us the grace to deal with this.  Please help us know what to do.  Please..." I felt as if He didn't care.  As if He didn't listen.  As if He left us with more than we could manage... though I suppose He did, but without more than we could handle we both tend toward pride.

But all I could think is that my baby was hurting and there was nothing I could do and I could not rest in the face of that suffering and I needed rest so much and how are we to cope with this?

And then it struck me.

He's been in that place a thousand times.  With His Son.  And with us, waiting on the porch hoping to see us come home soon so He can run to us.

I'm coming home.  I think I'm more than ready for than welcoming embrace.
693. A Father who Runs
694. Pain that only lasts a little while
695. Only two sleep interupted nights
696. A husband who lets me sleep
697. A husband who corrects me
698. A husband who knows when to take a screaming child from me
699. Humming bird spotted in my yard
700. Aeralind climbing over the park barrier (almost as tall as her) to grab a pair of sweet gum balls.
701. Bronwyn lazing sleepily in a swing after her rough night
702. Little girls pushing a Tractor across my rooms
703. Little girls climbing up and over and under their table
704. Visiting Luke and Levi
705. Hope's calm voice in inviting me over even with runny noses, even with no morning nap.
706. Catching up with Jenn after what seems like years and years
707. Relating with another wife intimately and naturally.
708. Being friend and not fellow mommy for just a little while.
709. Finishing some party decoration
710. Going to Kids Planet
711. Aeralind and Bronwyn smiling and being kissed and hugged one by a Hispanic woman who called them beautiful and precious over and over.  They were the only words I understood and they were in Spanish.
712. Little girls climbing over a bridge and through a tunnel.
713. Babyhood

holy experience


Chelsea said...

I appreciate how you always seem to gain a Godly perspective and then share it with us. You are encouraging.

Valyre said...

You had me scared there, thinking we gave you the runny noses. It looks like you had them before you ran across us, though. Ours turned into sinus infections. Ugh.

I hope you can either figure out the mystery flu or you never experience it again. It sounds terrible. *hugs*

Melissa Ann said...

Oh Chelsea, I do wish I had that perspective in the moment. But no. My husband actually had to take Bronwyn away from me on the first night because I was rocking her and gently whispering words of consoling that sounded sweet in tone of voice... but I think I was saying something like "If you don't quit screaming, I'm going to tear out your vocal cords." Ahem. Yeah... Godly persepective comes late for me :(

Safire said...

It's rough with baby twins. It does get easier. (The whole sleeping thing.) Then you have different problems. :) You'll do great.