18 May 2011

Community?

Sometimes I sit down to write these gratitude posts and I just feel so empty.

Empty enough not to have anything to say.

You see, I'm quite the introvert.  And this making friends with other moms things is almost worse than dating.  You ask her to come over for a playdate.  She does.  Then you talk a little.  You may or may not have similar opinions on raising kiddos.  You say good-bye.  And then you wait.  And wait.  Will they want to go on a "date" with me again?  Will they call?  Should I call?  Did they like me?  Are we too different?

Maybe this doesn't seem to pertain to the first few sentences... but it does.  You see, my world is small.  My scope of influence is sometimes non-existent. Sometimes I go five days and only see or talk to the girls and my husband.  And while that world is large enough and blessed enough...

Well, God is pouring so many gifts into me.  Almost 2000 counted so far.  And I feel empty because I'm like the Dead Sea.  I'm just swallowing these blessings and, more often than not, they just stay within me.  I don't often have an opportunity to share them with many others in my current scope of influence.  I don't often find the opportunity to serve others spontaneously like I love to do because I have two children to chase. I feel empty perhaps because I'm stagnant.


How do you other moms do it?  How do you find a world outside of the raising of kiddos (or even intricately linked to the raising of kiddos but not entirely consumed by it) in which to serve and bless?

It's not that I'm not grateful for this season.  I truly am.  There is so much joy and silliness and snuggles and laughter.  It's just that I know I'm meant to live in community with others.  And that community is lacking right now.

I think that's it :)  Now on to the real point of this post: expressing gratitude for that which He so graciously gives.

#1881-1924

  • Lunch with Aunt Ruthie
  • Playdate with Chanwey and her sweet Shiloh and Kayla
  • Watching all four girls run around with snack cups
  • Cooler Weather
  • Sauted fresh from the garden sugar snap peas
  • First 2nd Saturday at Roper Mt with the whole family in costume
  • Watching the girls master animal noises and pair them with the real animals
  • Childish glee in petting the chicken
  • No major meltdowns
  • Costumed girls playing in the sand of the trail
  • A long nap after some Tylenol for sore teeth
  • Swimming with the fearless girls
  • Aeralind exclaiming 'jump!' before splashing into the pool
  • Bronwying stretching out in the water and kicking
  • An empty exercise room after two full swim diapers banished us from the pool
  • The girls trying to climb into the mirror
  • Aeralind pushing a yoga ball as tall as her to daddy after he bounced it to her
  • Bronwyn running away from me squealing while pushing her yoga ball
  • Aeralind's encounter with the giant bouncing yoga ball only resulting in a black eye and bruised knees
  • The book of James
  • Lowes taking back the wrong hinges even after more than 90 days
  • The right hinges in stock
  • 3 of 5 bottom cabinet doors and child locks reapplied
  • Derek's glasses breaking after a message on asking God for wisdom when we encounter trials
  • Those prayers resulting in finding a guy who laser welds glasses back together for $40. Sweet!!
  • An unexpected sick day for Derek
  • Derek's illness only affecting him so far
  • The feeling of a 3-day weekend
  • All cabinet door fronts with final coat of pait
  • 10 doors waiting to be glazed
  • 8 door waiting for me to mix chalkboard paint for the backs
  • 90% certainty that all painting will be completed by Monday!
  • Having my kitchen put back together soon excitement!!
  • Finishing the girls' pillow cases after 2 years of procrastination
  • Baby kisses including "mmm" sounds as they come to kiss you
  • Random baby snuggles
  • Aerie's hair finally long enough to tuck behind her ear
  • Bronwyn contentedly wearing ponytails so her hair isn't in her eyes
  • Last 8 teeth finally pushing their way through
  • Beer Cheese soup
  • Elements finally showing all my content and writing to the correct scratch disk on my user
  • Almost finished with wedding photo edits.
  • Date night out alone
  • Babysitting swapping with someone I didn't know :)

holy experience

    3 comments:

    Mandy D said...

    How do I live in community? I feel the same way you do. I am so introverted and have such low self-esteem that I rarely spend time with other women. I am afraid to ask because I am just sure they will not want to hang out with me. I know it is lies that Satan is feeding me and I am devouring. It is just so hard to stop the cycle in my head. Despite myself God brings a new friend into my life on occasion (like our neighbors who have 3 girls and we have started hanging out, and the MOPS group that I have joined and have taken on a leadership position). How I wish to not live in fear of man, but how to change when I have lived most of my life that way. How to change if not for me than for my daughter so that she does not learn that cycle from me.

    Robyn said...

    Hi Melissa,

    Loved your list of things you're thankful for...and I can relate to your thoughts in your intro. I'm an introvert, too, and I struggle with some of the same things you mentioned. We need to worry most about our fellowship with the Lord and our family and then I think God will guide us to some good friends in His time.

    Anyway, enjoy your family and keep thanking God!

    ~Robyn

    Emily G. said...

    HI Melissa! It's been a while since I visited. Your beautiful girls are getting so big! I can't believe it.

    You all look great in your Regency costumes.

    My heartfelt congratulations on #3! I am so happy for you. Money might be tight, but there is always enough love, right? I hope you are feeling well.

    Emily