There are days when the fear reaches out like a lion on the prowl. It tries to swallow me up in one big bite.
Fear of what my friends think of my next biggest scheme. Fear if anybody would come over if I invited them. Fear that I am messing up my children up. Fear that I am wasting my one life.
But fear is just the uncomfortable place between staying where you are and birthing a new thing.
It's late one afternoon when I submit an application to be on Holley's "Dream Team." I submit that application with a fleece-like prayer: Lord, if you want me to pursue photography next year, to pursue one session a month, then let me be accepted.
I was afraid to be accepted. I was afraid to stay unaccepted. But I pressed submit and leaned in to stay near Him. To see what holy wild he would call me to or ask me to stay within.
The email came on a Wednesday. The quiet yes. The beckoning to go. To pursue. To leave the place I am now and explore the new place. To walk into the unknown with fear as my companion, but faith in Him as my guide.
I click the shutter and smile. Apprehensive of what the next year holds, but too excited to stay in the same place.
2 comments:
I love it! Brave you, so glad to hear I'm not the only fearful one... Somehow, we advance forward!
Love the part about fear is just the uncomfortable place between "staying where you are and birthing a new thing." VERY true!
Good job!
Sue
I understand your fear. I had it holding me by the back of the neck for so long...
Then one day I stepped out. I read last night that we only need to step out for a couple of seconds, maybe 30 and we are out from under the fear and into Trust.
Trust is a scary place, but with a God who made the universe, named the stars and saved me from my sin...I want to trust Him.
Your are a talented and blessed woman.
Go with God
Shalom
Deena
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