Oblivious

There's a certain surreal quality to being told you're having twins. Here you are barely 12 weeks pregnant and just adjusting to the idea that there's a kiddo inside of you and BAM! you find out there's two. Ofcourse, Derek had totally prepared me for the twin diagnosis so it didn't catch me completely off guard. Actually, when I told Derek I was pregnant his first response was something along the lines of "Cool. You're having twins." He teased me about it every single day until the ultrasound. There we were viewing the first pictures of our little one and I get up the nerve to gloat. "Ha! I told you we weren't having twins!" To which the sweet ultrasound technician says, "Well,... um... actually... I was about to show you the second baby. We like to warm you up to the idea first." No more gloating from me. I kicked Derek square in the tush twice (once for each baby) on the way out of the OB office. And the poor boy has tolerated more sighs and pointed fingers in his direction with the only word possible from me being "Twins."

It's not that I'm not grateful for my super easy pregnancy or my buy 1 get 1 free deal, it's just an idea that takes quite awhile to warm up to. I don't feel particulary pregnant; besides needing to eat almost every 2 hours, I have no real symptoms. It's just not an idea that I have fully grasped.

But the twin pregnancy does make me worry more. I worry that I'm not eating enough or gaining enough weight fast enough or not eating the right things. I worry that I'm not gaining because I've already got gestational diabetes and that's why I'm so terribly hungry. Or I worry that my headache and lightheadedness are high blood pressure. Or I worry that one of the twins won't make it. But at the same time, even the worrying is sort of surreal. And I know that there is a good God in control, even if He isn't a Tame Lion.

Yet at the same time I can see Him working out His plan. With a singleton, I wouldn't have asked for help and may even have resisted it. With two I'm already planning to have someone here 24/7 for at least the first 3-4 weeks. And I'd love also to have someone come and check in on me everyday for an hour or two for 2-4 weeks after that. With a singleton, my boundaries would not have been as strong. People may have walked all over me and confused me with contradictory advice and told me how to do everything. With a twin pregnancy, most unwanted advice givers can be slightly deterred with a "Twin pregnancies are different. I'm doing what my doctor says. Thank you so much for your concern." I also get to read up on how to care for twins and schedule sleep, feeding, and play and I adore the added benefit of being able to educate myself. Another blessings of the twin pregnancy is the ability to join a Mothers of Multiples (MoM) group. With one baby I would be tempted to hide away in the house and not make friends with new moms, but with the social networking in the MoM group, I'll be scheduling playdates in no time (if just for the mommys to sit and chat). Plus the MoM biannual sales on used clothing and everything else needed for two at once is certainly my kind of consolidated thrify buying.

Well, I think this post is getting sort of rambly so I'll sign off and leave you with a much loved picture of my beginning baby bump here at 14 weeks.