05 September 2011

Resignation

I run razor across legs to remove growth that was not there mere days ago.  Half-awake, a sudden thought jolts me present.

Is growth always nearly imperceptible?

Do we only see growth when we're looking?

A hard week has slipped by- one full of grumbling and fear and culminating in tears as I presided over a mountain of borax spilt by toddlers in the kitchen.  A nearly nake toddler wrapped arms around me as I sobbed, both of us now covered in white dust.  I feel weak.  I feel hopeless. I feel resigned.

Standing in the shower, jolted awake by thoughts, I finally spot the growth.

I am weak.

I am hopeless.

But God.

I wrestle hard again with perfectionism.  I am reminded again that the cure is humility, the surrendering, admitting, and (dare I say it?) the resigning to the power nad grace of God.

I turn off the shower.

I resign control to Him.
2194-2209

  • Aeralind mostly stayin in her crib despite her newfound climbing skills
  • Pool budddies!!
  • Bronwyn so tired from swimming and playing that she actually asked for a nap
  • Two snuggly girls lying on me, drinking water
  • Fun Fat Quarters arriving
  • Quilt half cut out
  • Dresser almost done
  • Only closet doors and a little glazing left before I can retire my paintbrush for 2011
  • Unless I decide to glaze the bathroom with leftover paint/glaze
  • Baby gates
  • exhaustion when I over do it
  • Play dates!
  • Long naptime chats with my ssiter
  • Papa and girls slding down the tall slide
  • Cleaning with Derek
  • Rest

holy experience



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